I'm Lisztomaniac

I'm 2 hours away to my 2nd round of job interview, I'm a jittery-nervous wreck! I tried to calm down with some coffee, bad idea! Now I'm all pump-up with no where to let off some steam. 

While waiting for the interview to happen, I have some copywriting to work on my I'm having a writer's block. Things I've came up with are either too cheesy it boring. SEND HELP. 

Decided to turn to my ever so loyal friend, Spotify. I never realized this but singing out loud --helps! I don't exactly sound the best but...I don't care! (I feel bad for my handsome neighbor on the next wall) hahahaha! I'm so nervous, all my energy causing me to feel light-headed almost. 

Currently listening to Time After Time by INOJ on repeat! I really like all versions of this song. Even the remixed ones. Ask me about it, I have a list! haha! This is also one of the few songs I can ace with my croack voice! lol! 

If you're lost 

You can look 

Then you will find me 

Time after Time 

If you fall

I will catch you 

I will be waiting 

Time after Time 

I was just reading through my past posts -- IKR! How self absorb can I be?! And I realized that most of them are musically inspired. My life seem to revolve around music. It's like music gets me, music has became an essential to my life. 

Does anyone remember Fall Out Boys? I was never a fan of them but I do have an obsession for some of their songs. Like Young Volcanoes. One of the few that made it to my playlist, until today - I'm still madly in love with it. I find it's lyrics very inspiring and kick-assy. hahah! Watch the music video and tell me otherwise! 

Even when I go for grocery runs, I like to zone out with music. Heck, I even have my headphones on when getting my hair done. I've always wanted to work with music festival organizers but nothing was suitable (or paid well! HAHAH!) So I settled for a well-paid job and using that money to pay for festivals. Genius, no? =P 

Last but not least, here is another song that I fell in love with when I still a freshman in college. Enjoy. 

Signing off now, my anxiety has cleared a little now. 

Also this is my attempt to do work with HTML coding to paste this playlist here, can't believe I still got it! :P 

Plushgun · "Just Impolite"

Pretty Much You

Lately, I've been really productive.  Although there is still a little voice inside of me that still does not believe in myself, that little voice of destruction...but I pulled through. 

I've been eating well and healthy. I have not skipped or attempted purging of any sort, I have been very discipline about my snacking and drinking habits. Most of all, I've been starting my night early by doing productive things before bedtime - like writing, reading and painting. 

Today is the day where I feel like writing. Remember when blogging was a thing, everyone would read each other's blog on the daily? I remember feeling jealous of my friend who had a digital camera because she could document her days and update her blog with pictures. My parents were strict, so whatever expenses made were limited to anything college assignment related. So a digital camera was definitely not part of the bargain. I could only blog with words which I eventually grew to love. 

It was like writing a letter to the universe, the moon is my limit! :) 

I hope I'm not the only one who has to listen to that one song that functions as an engine to get my brainjuice flowing? Tonight, that one song is Dream Girl by Anna of The North. I'm absolutely obsessed with this track, I also have a soft spot for a good song with amazing lyrics. Have a listen, promise it's good :) 

In my dream world, 

I'm still your dream girl, 

No if, buts or maybes, 

I'm still your baby

I'm not sure if my current state of mind is causing me to like this song a little more than usual but I do! 

I recently shared a few of my playlist with my friends. If you know me well, I'm not the type to share songs simply because the receiving rate of my song recommendations are really reaaaally low. haha! I can't help it, I don't fancy music on the radio, they are just overplayed and overpaid! 

So anyway, little did I know, this friend of mine happened to like my music.. I'm not sure if it's just him trying to be nice but it did feel good for my music to be liked for once :) I secretly hope that I do not ruin this friendship because he is important now! Lol. (in everyway, really)

        "I pretend to ignore you, but I just really miss you"

I'll admit, I'm not the best at keeping track of friends. The ones that sticks around are the ones that knows me best and no matter how long I go AWOL, they would always alwaysss know when and where to find me, I love that about them! (even though they don't always like my choice of music!) hahah! 

Earlier I mentioned that I've started painting again, So far I've painted 3 portraits and I've only showcased 1 on my social page. I really want to do more but between painting and writing, I really really want to write. 

On inspired nights like these, I usually ignore all social media pings and just let my inspiration flow. So whatever you're reading now, is actually my inner thoughts and secrets only you know. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You held the small of my back 

And whispered in my ears

Don't look back

Let's just live it all 

You know I'll make you mine someday 

You had me at hello 

And I can never let you go now 

There's just something about you

You made my heart attached

I want to talk all night over a bottle of wine

I want to make memories with you

As Howie would say; 

I'm tangled up in you 

Every single second with you is golden 

I miss you a whole lot while you're away 

I think I'm crushing hard for you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a certain kind of feeling, a feeling that I can't describe, a feeling that I have not experienced before. I don't know what is it. I wish I could tell you but I might ruin it for us. I have a track record of speaking too soon or acting too late. I wish I could find a middle ground. Am I speaking in codes? Good, it should be that way - so my inner-inner-secrets still stays with me. haha! 

At this point of time, mushy love songs are so my thing, oh lawdy! What happened to me!?

I mean who can't relate to, 

• Stolen by Dashboard Confessional 
• Collide by Howie Day 
• You and Me by Lifehouse 

I MEANNNNNNNNNNN! 

Before this post gets any sappier, I shall stop. 

To that person out there, I don't know what the future holds but I know that I'm enjoying the now that we have and this is for you. lol! 

Thank you for loving my music and for being you. 

(secretly stalking you on Spotify, I like that you're exploring my playlist as we speak) 

xx