Yestermonth Ago...

Hello, how are you? 

Have you been well? 

You go on and I'll be okay

I can dream the rest away 

With some faith and pixie dust 

I'll be okay, I'll be okay 

And I believed, 

I thought I was...

Those are lies I tell myself daily  

The past few weeks has been tough

My heart longs, longs for you 

You are my guilty pleasure

My precious, my very own  

You were the heart to my heartbreak 

You are my safe place

Despite it all, 

I wish you would remain in my life 

But I understand the circumstances that we're in 

I love you so so dearly

Always will

Because forever is ours. 

Hello, I hope you're well. 

And I hope you feel the same as well. 

I have a habit of starting my post with a poem, I noticed I write when I'm feeling emotional. With some wine or soju, I'm ready to write! Tonight's one of those nights.

I had the evening off workout as I just had my booster shot, doctor's orders. No workout for at least a week. I did not have trouble adjusting as work and side effects kicked in. I'm entering day 3 post booster and mann...my brain still feel all sorts of fuzzy. For the first time in my life, I had not food cravings. In fact, I tried eating a tuna sandwhich (my fav btw), I threw up everything. I'm feeding myself with some red wine as I write this (think there are SOME tuna sandwich left somewhere in my tummy). Somehow being buzzed helps me write or paint, whichever my mood prefers I do. 

My eating habit has gone haywire, I not only have no time to workout, stress at work is causing me to stress-eat. I can't keep up! I'm stressed over my stress-eating therefore I eat! HAHAHA! WTH!? I purge my meals pretty often because of this. My thought processes are: Since I've restarted the habit, I my as well keep going. I gotta drop 10kg to be perfect. I need to fit into my clothes without feeling like a big muffin! LOL! 

Unfortunately, he did not see me as a bestfriend. He wanted more but I wasn't able to give him that. Whatever it is, you've turned out to be someone who means alot to me. It WILL take me months or ever years for me to stop checking your social pages or stalk you on Spotify but it's okay, its a pain that I'm willing to bear. I love you, I hope we'll never forget each other.