You and Eternity

I hate the feeling of rejection 
I hate ditching family plans for friends
I hate last minute changes of plans

Thinking that we were supposedly excluded from that 'adult time' family dinner - I instead made plans with friends, least I would not be spending my dinner time all alone. But nooo! You just had to change the plan, you just couldn't stick to the plan, you just haaad to plan at the very. last. minute. And now, after all that planning with my friends, I can't just bail out! I'm sorta kinda left in a major dilemma, to bail out on friends or to go for that family dinner? Family may mean the world to me but, I need a breather from You.

I find it very hard being nice to you, I can't seem to see things the same way you do, I feel like I have to fight to earn your attention. I feel so trapped in your presence each time - I feel like I'm suffocating, like I'm drowning - being pushed further away.

Someone once told me that "your problems are what you made them to be". So therefore, I should just forget about this and get over it. I'm dissing my family just this once, don't you dare judge me. It's not my fault that plans had been changed at the last minute - they had the whole week to make up their minds but they just had to decide on the day itself! 

There, an update for you. I may not be miss popular or miss I'm so gorgeous, I do not give two cents if I have an overflowing account of friends on my Facebook. To hell with that, I'm barely on that damn website anymore. Neither will I ever care if, we're close!

...hence, the bold statement.